A Prayer for White Sox Fans

O, (Deity or Deities) on the eve of the playoffs, a rare and most wondrous occurrence for us, I, a humble White Sox fan doth humbly pray for the following:

Heal our players' ailments, and protect them from injury.

Let our pitchers' fastballs move and let their breaking balls break.

Let our batters see the ball and let their bats be quick.

May our fielders' hands be soft and let their throws be true.

May our baserunners get good jumps and let their feet be swift.

May our manager's gut not lead him astray, and let his coaches' counsel be wise.

Let the umpires' vision be clear and let their hearts be unbiased.

If You in Your inifinite wisdom should see fit to grant my humble request, I will promise to sing thy praises at every 7th inning stretch.

In Joe Jackson's name I pray,
Amen.